Stairway to Friendship

 

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Knapp’s Relational Model was developed by professor and researcher Mark L. Knapp as a “theoretical model for relational enhancement which routes the interpersonal development between two people.” This model outlines the process of how relationships are established, maintained, and sometimes terminated. The model consists of ten stages that are categorized into two broader stages: “Coming together” and “Coming apart.” Relationships are built in the “Coming together” stage: Initiating, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating, and Bonding. On the contrary, relationships end in the “Coming apart” stage: Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding, and Terminating. The following YouTube video (starting at 1:30) by Hope Churchill describes and gives examples of the various stages.

I have been friends with my best friend since 2007, when we were stationed together on the USS George H. W. Bush. We have shared many good and bad times, from sleeping on each other's couches to being roommates and then living on our own. During a portion of that time, my friend was in a long-term relationship with a boyfriend who I disliked for several reasons. It felt as if our relationship was in the circumscribing stage but many of the boundaries in our relationship were there because of her boyfriend. A few years later, she got out of that relationship and we were back to the bonding stage. I even moved into her spare room while preparing to transfer to a new duty station in Washington State. During my time living in Washington, we were able to visit each other 2-3 times, and while online communication was an available option, we mainly communicated through text messages and the occasional phone call. Now that I’m back on the East Coast, we see each other more frequently but not as often as either of us would like since we’re still about 5 hours apart. I feel that we exist in a relational maintenance phase that goes between bonding and differentiating. 

We live very separate lives, but when we’re together, it’s like we were never apart. We even went on a weekend trip to see LCD Soundsystem last month. 

The Company You Keep

    The vast array of social networking or social media sites available today provide many options, each tailored to specific needs. From keeping up with the latest celebrity news to networking for career opportunities, dating, and sharing creative works, these platforms offer diverse features to meet varying interests and, when used responsibly, can be a powerful tool. 

Social media provides a place to build like-minded communities to share experiences, knowledge, and humor. My favorite Facebook group is Wild Green Memes for Ecological Fiends, an “online community across multiple social media platforms with a focus on humorous wildlife and environmental content.” 

A Harvard School of Public Health study found that “the ways that people are using social media may have more of an impact on their mental health and well-being than just the frequency and duration of their use.” In my opinion, carefully choosing the content we see on social media can significantly impact our mental health, either positively or in a neutral manner. Populating your social media feeds with positive connections and valuable information can ensure a more joyful and enriching experience.

There is no ideal limit on the number of "friends" one should aim to have. Assigning a specific number would only create another unnecessary standard to fulfill. Frank Sonnenberg said it well: "You're only as good as the company you keep." The same principle can be applied to social media. It's important to surround yourself with individuals who positively impact and bring value to your life.

About Me

Hi. I'm Laura Finch. I was born and raised in Florissant, about 20 minutes north of St. Louis, Missouri. I live in Virginia Beach, Virginia, with my husband Waylon and two boys, Arlo (6) and Jasper (5). 

I have served in the United States Navy for almost 19 years. I'm working towards my Bachelor's in Fisheries and Wildlife Conservation Science and looking forward to my retirement next year. I have thought a lot about what I want to do with my degree and would love to conduct research on endangered species and habitat restoration. Still, I will be very grateful for any opportunity I have. 

My online communication use primarily consists of email and class discussion boards, but I also occasionally access Facebook and Instagram and have recently started utilizing LinkedIn. I mainly use these communication methods because they are what I've used for a long time, and I'm used to them. I considered starting a blog about ecology/endangered species a few years back but have yet to find the time. 

I've taken a few communication courses primarily focused on technical writing, so I'm excited to learn about the different ways to communicate online and become a better science communicator.